Sidebar Or "That Simpson's spread got me open."

Who knew I'd also find this in August's issue of Harper's Bazaar. Generally I shy away from this mag despite it's great writing. But um, yeah, they own me on some real shallow shit this month.

And despite the fact that room looks like a nursery for Maddox and the other Jolie-Pitt kids/Blanket & Jermajesty Jackson/ Madonna's African Baby, I like it. I like it a lot.

I want this lifestyle.

I want this room.

I want his wifey. LOL.

"...wait 'til I get my money right." (c) Kanye

Alvin & The Chipmunks Movie Or "I see my childhood crumbling..."

Alvin! Simon! Theodore! Doot! Doot! Do Do Do Doot!

Who knew a tape wound a little too tightly could make such pleasant sounds for Rugrats? Being apart of what I'm guessing is the second generation of Chipmunks fans,
this 80's cartoon made my weekday (or was it Saturday) mornings.

And now there is going to be a live-action movie. Just in time for Christmas. Who was naughty?

Most people have bulked at yet another movie where Hollywood is raping our childhood to make a quick buck; but at the sametime, I won't complain if it's done right (yeah, like that's going to happen?)

In any event, here's a list of the top 10 things wrong with the movie poster taken from VH1's Infamous Best Week Ever

10. WHY ARE THE CHIPMUNKS SO GANGSTA?!?!?!
9. Alvin has no eyes, and might very well murder your first born.
8. NO, REALLY, DOES ANYONE HERE REMEMBER ALVIN LOOKING LIKE EMINEM‘S BALLSACK? If I were walking down a dark street, and Alvin and his thuggy friends were walking towards me… I WOULD CROSS THE STREET. And they are animated chipmunks.
7. Jason Lee’s mutant eye-brow. I’ve never seen a bigger cock(ed brow) in my life!
6. The tag line “They’re Back and Bigger Than Ever” is worrisome… how big are these little Thug-munks going to be? Look, at a foot tall, they can still be sort of adorable, but anything over 4 feet will induce the sort of childhood nightmares not seen since Follow That Bird. Perhaps they had to adjust Chipmunk size because of the tall and lankified Jason Lee? Where is Danny Devito when you need him?
5. Theodore’s childhood squirrel-besity problem.
4. Chipmink CGI’d claws are freaking me out.
3. Fine, fine, make the Chipmunks as gangsta-fly as you want… But Simon’s 1990’s hat/glasses/hoodie combination are making me want to jump-jump right now.
2. Simon was supposed to be the nerd! They could have made a tall, slender, hipster chipmunk that would have had dork girls swooning! Instead, they’ve given us DJ Jazzy Sizz-imon.
1. From the looks of it, seems producers are trying to “spruce up” the Chipmunks to a new generation of fans… and that worries us. Will they even sound like the helium-drunk critters we remember from yesteryear? Or will they have deeper man-munk voices now? What are kids going to do with helium balloons at birthday parties — use them for heroin consumption? Is the Lollipop League dead and gone for good?

Here's the trailer:

More Simpson's Movie Goodness Or "Margerie, dear, that dress is to die for."

The Simpson's Massive Marketing Machine Does not stop. Good for Fox, selling out royally, and making sure they get every shillings worth out of this late summer blockbuster.

Taken from www.notcot.com

Harper’s Bazaar August 007 ~ “The Simpsons go to Paris with Linda Evangelista” “Models”: The Simpsons, Linda Evangelista, and various designers with Illustrations by Julius Preite. Marge lets down her hair for Versace. Lisa gives up her pearls for Alber Elbaz. Homer dresses as Karl Lagerfeld. Selma & Patty in Viktor & Rolf. Maggie rides around in Jean Paul Gaultier’s Birkin Bag. Quite possibly the most incredible fashion spread i’ve seen (ok maybe tied with the Marie Antoinette Vogue spread?). To see the spread, see the pics below, and for some great animated versus reality pics of the dresses and designers, check out Oh No They Didn’t’s LJ. Wow. I am breathless… just go see more images already (and click any pic to see larger).

A Neil Gaiman Quote On Writing or "How Writers are like magicians"

Neil Gaiman, a well-known fantasy and science-fiction author, had this to say about writers at the San Diego Comicon Convention:

“What I really, really admire and care about most are those writers who can make me go, ‘Oh my god, he’s going to cut that poor woman in half,’” he said. “The writers who make me forget that there is anybody behind the curtain, the ones who make me just go, ‘I want to know what happens next.’ Beautiful writing is part of it; I love beautiful writing but I really want to be able to wander into the story in such a way that I can’t find my way out unless I keep reading until the end.”

Taken from Newsarama.

Here's the trailer for his most recent movie adaptation, Stardust, a story of a star that falls to Earth, that happens to be a woman. Calamity and hilarity ensues. It stars Claire Danes, Michelle PFeifer, Rupert Everett, Sienna Miller, & Peter O'Toole.

My Pop Culture Life or "The Create A Character Phenomena"

Back in the day, me and my bro would stay up late watching the adult humor of the Tracy Ullman show, just to see if they would feature 5 minutes of Simpsons action. The crudely drawn cursing cartoon was the type of Sunday night bedtime story we craved, and if there wasn't one that night, we felt cheated for watching 30 minutes of jokes that flew over our young heads.

Then they got their own show, got bashed as America's badass cartoon, then grew to be one of televisions most beloved shows (that needs a mercy killing) with over 400 episodes. And now, the Movie.

I've been relatively happy with most of the marketing for the picture, from the appearance of all the character actors on Bravo's The Actor's Studio giving interviews in character, and the whole Kwik-E-Mart 7-Eleven switcharoo was genius. However, this whole create a character thing to me seems like nothing new. In fact, people have been doing it for awhile for South Park, M&M's Candies, The Sims, and Second Life.

However, I must admit, as a franchise (or brand even?), The Simpsons do have a unique reason for doing this. We know the Simpsons not only for the main characters, but for the community of Springfield as well (just don't make Springfield a spin-off).

They've also managed to take the whole create a character thing up a notch, by allowing users to upload photos of themselves to be Simpsonized. This site is separate and done in conjunction with Burger King, one of a number of cross promotions for this movie.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy my pop culture dopplegangers.







My life as a chocolate candy




An of course, A derelict of South Park http://images.southparkstudios.com/games/create/

Have fun ya'll, and link me to your clones!

5 Favorite Blogs

1. www.frederiksamuel.com/blog
I enjoy this one for the ads he showcases from around the world. Some good. Some bad. All interesting.

2. www.thirdwwayblog.com
Another advertising blog that tells you what works, what doesn't, etc.

3. Crunk & Disorderly (crunktastical.blogspot.com)
I'm really into pop culture, and this blog dedicated to the gossip of black celebs never let's me down in the humor department.

4. AmericanCopywriter.typepad.com
Another advertsing blog! *sigh*

5. http://gamesadistic.blogspot.com/
I read this for the writing. Basically the creator is a video game junky that reviews old wack video games with a snarktastical sense of humor.

Childhood Obsessions Or "How comics and cartoons inspired me to be a writer."

Transformers The Movie. Not the live-action Michael Bay version with seizure-inducing special effects, but the 1986 classic. I was too young to realize it was a disasterpiece that only grossed $6 million. I didn’t appreciate the voice talents of Leonard Nimoy, or Orson Welles. My 5 year-old mind was too enthralled by the storyline that carried over from the cartoon I watched daily. The death of Optimus Prime, and the rise of Rodimus Prime, were moments that left my

Over time my investment in Transformers, He-Man, She-Ra, Silverhawks, Vultron, and even um… Jem, had matured into a love of character development and continuity. It inspired me create my own superheroes, with elaborate back-stories full of plot holes. Little did I realize at the time, I was writing.

This continued as I began collecting comics. Soon I became a fan of not only the characters, but the writers of the characters as well. Funny book writers don’t get a lot of shine, but you try writing a good story about a man who runs around in tights and isn’t gay. I even adopted their styles in my English assignments. Who knew copying the language style used on X-Men would get me a few A’s?

I tried my hand at some fan-fiction, coming up with more science fiction type concepts, superheroes, etc., but I came to a different realization. It didn’t matter the context or situation, the only thing I cared about were the characters, their development, or what their story said about life, politics, the world, or the people around me. Someone’s ability to fly, destroy New York with a careless thought, or a leap a tall building in a single bound wasn’t as spectacular or relatable (since at this point I’d given up my dream of being a superhero). Actually, the emotions and changes the character experience due to these abilities were infinitely more interesting. Sure Doc Octopus is holding up a bank, but will our hero make it back to his date before she walks out of his life forever? I guess it’s called growing up. I guess that’s why Heroes is so enjoyable when you barely see them use their abilities.

This might also explain why I fell in love with the human characters this time around while watching Transformers. After the shock opener of the US military being utterly demolished by the might of a near-invulnerable shape-shifting alien, if you peel back the enormous, engulfing storyline of intergalactic conflict, government conspiracy, and human evolution, you there is the heart and meat of the story. It is nothing more than the story of a boy and his first car; something everyone can relate to.

Vibrate

Fans of science fiction may be familiar with the idea of separate realities that exist parallel to our own. These worlds vibrate on a different frequency, and therefore we are unable to touch feel, or embrace whatever lies beyond our reality. We can only experience things on this side of the fabric of space and time, which seems like a grandmother’s quilt, suffocatingly warm and comfortable, but may be more sheer and silky, and fluid than one would originally imagine.

And maybe in the sheer, silky, fluidness of things, a person like me feels as if I am bouncing back and forth, reverberating in non-concentric circles, unable to direct a pattern of proper placement. So what is the major malfunction in the works? Why is it so hard to tap into that which is already there, that which should be within in grasp, but is just out of touch? Well, I guess if I knew the answer, I wouldn’t be asking the question? Or maybe the biggest fear is that the answer really does lie within me, that I’m a jackass, and the maestro of my own demise.

I continue spinning. But where does the top stop? On it’s side like a stray animal in heavy traffic? Propped against a wall through sheer luck, like a derelict that discovers rich relatives to bum off.Or will I finally come to a new era of existence?